Short Shorts! Retro Football Shorts Pictures

When short shorts ruled the football pitch.

Dennis Wise wearing short retro football shorts in 1988

Image above shows Wimbledon player Dennis Wise, wearing super short shiny blue football shorts in action during the 1988 FA Cup Final between Wimbledon and Liverpool at Wembley Stadium, London. Concentrating with his tongue sticking out the professional soccer player leans forward approaching the ball with his thick and toned legs on show. Dennis Wise has smooth muscled quads leading up his retro blue and yellow detailed shorts. 

English football in the 1980's looks a whole lot different than it does in the 2020's. Of course, it's the same game with the same rules with the exception of VAR (video playback to aid the referee with decisions) but on the pitch, everything has changed.

Soccer stars in the England's top flight teams can be paid upwards of £200,000 per week - Manchester United's goal keeper David De Gea has a pay-packet of £375,000 per week and Kevin De Brouyne is just behind with £328,000 weekly. 40 years ago (yes the 80s was really that long back eek!) it was closer to £20 a week, and it is true that longer hair has made a moderate comeback it hasn't got anything on the Mullet which used to be the height of fashion back then. 

Whilst it's fair to assume no-one in the Beautiful Game wants to see pay return back to lower levels perhaps with the exception of payroll staff, there is one feature of the game which spanned several decades from the 1960's to the early 1990's which has made a comeback and that's retro short shorts. 

Short Shorts 

Andy Gray and Paul Hardyman tackle for the ball wearing retro football kits

The picture above throws back to 1989. Andy Gray who plays for Crystal Palace tries his best to shield the ball from Paul Hardyman attacking for Portsmouth during the League Division One match played at Selhurst Park in London, England. Crystal Palace ultimately won the match 1-0. Andy Gray dressed in a white football kit with red and blue diagonal line across the shirt, his retro white football shorts feature red chevrons down the side. Hardyman who's head to toe in red has such tiny soccer shorts that you can almost see his underwear up the leg hole. 

 

Gary Lineker In His Football Kit

 

Gary Lineker in football shirt and football shorts

A familiar face to many. TV presenter and sports pundit Gary Lineker dressed in his football kit. This image showing Gary wearing a blue and white sports kit was taken in 1990. Lineker wears a Tottenham jersey in a match against Nottingham Forrest. 

Gary Lineker in a Tottenham football kit smiling with goalkeeper Peter Shilton

Spurs striker Gary Lineker wearing some very retro side slit sport shorts. Here the BBC presenter smiling as he shares a joke with Derby goalkeeper Peter Shilton who laughs. This picture taken during a League Division One match between Tottenham Hotspur and Derby County hosted at White Hart Lane on September 8, 1990 in London, England. Both men proudly exhibit their legs and shiny shorts. Gary's shorts are a dark shiny blue with white panelled sides, whilst Shilton wearings a light shiny red shorts and green long sleeved football shirt. Floppy haired Lineker grins as he grabs Peter by one hand / glove with the other firmly pressed against his opponents back. 

 

Gay Short Shorts

Long shorts are long gone with a few exceptions notably the Hemsworth Brothers when surfing, but if pictures popping up of big gay holidays in Mykonos, Ibiza, Marbella and Gran Canaria are anything to go off, super short and shiny shorts are totally in fashion. 


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Someone pass me a watermelon 🍉

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Above London boy and Instagram superstar Bradley Austen giving us a glimpse of his supreme legs in tight shorts. Look at how high those black shorts ride up showing Brad's beautiful hairy legs. There's nudes on his OF account if you're interested! 

 

 

 

Box buddy Ridick. On his knees at the gym, pushing his huge legs together and showing off a subtle gym bulge. There's a whole lot more of VPL on his Instagram. 

 

 

Mexican TikTok dancer and all round beauty Emilio wearing striped swimming shorts at the pool. Riding high up those legs. 

 

 

Retro Football Shorts & Bulge

A wonderful secondary effect of short yet loose fitting sport kits is a footballers bulge, well, when worn by men anyway. 

 Ian Rush bulge in football shorts

The soccer bulge belongs to Liverpool Football Club legend John Barnes, photo above of him action during a pre-season Friendly match against Dundalk in Scotland. The match ended in a 0-0 draw, but featured this great right hand dick bulge. Image taken 23 July 1991. As well as classic football shorts, Barnes is wearing knee high football socks over his shin pads and a timeless red Candy sponsored football shirt. 

Gary Ablett in his football kit

Another Liverpudlian (well Box Menswear is based in Liverpool, England after all) Portrait above is Gary Ablett mid game during the FA Cup Final match against Wimbledon played at Wembley Stadium in London, England. Wimbledon may won the match beating LFC 1 to nil, however, Ablett's legs should have won Man of the Match with his loose fitting side cut shorts. The sports kit sponsored by Crown Paints. 

 

Here's one final image of two footballers battling it out in a League Division One match. It's Tottenham Hotspur v Everton with Danny Thomas and Gary Lineker pushing against one another for control of the ball. 

Who won the ball and match is unknown (to us), however it was a solid draw when it comes to those footballers legs. 

Danny Thomas and Gary Lineker fighting for the ball.

Max Johsnon

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